Day Thirty Five… Black Flies are the Worst… 06/14/15

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So, I woke up this morning very eager to learn how to run #TheMillenniumFalcon off of an #inverter and a #SeriesOfBatteries… When I have this eagerness to learn something, I jump right on it because in the past, I have blown it off only to never find that enthusiasm again… This I have learned as a #writer… When you get the urge, try your hardest to drop everything and cater to that urge because you may not get it again, with the same level of #creativity… I understand this is hard when you are living the regular, working life but I am not living that life, so I can submit myself to such urges…

So I read all about the #ElectricalSystems in a #RV and learned it was pretty complex… But now I understand how it works and will go to a #mechanic and find out how much it costs… If it’s under $500, I am definitely doing it because the money I would save in gas over the year will pay off that bill 10 times over… Even if it’s close to a thousand, I may just go ahead and do it…

So I was ready to go do some #exploring… Nothing crazy, I just wanted to see what other #campsites #KellySt,Woodford had to offer… I slept like a #log last night… No noise, just the occasional hoot of an #owl or the leg rubbing of a #cricket… Until I get a good battery source to run my t.v. without firing up the #generator, I am going to avoid #RVCampsites… I need that t.v. for background noise when inconsiderate assholes make noise in the middle of the night… I also have to prepare myself for the #summer, where there will be a lot of other #campers even at the #FreeCampsites… I hate having to sleep with the #t.v. on but I have lived in #NYC for 7 years and #L.A. 8 years… The only way I could get a good, constant nights sleep was to have some sort of familiar noise in the background… Considering I am a #movie and television fanatic, it fit the need at the time… Bad habits are hard to break…

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When I stepped outside to go on my mini #hike, I was immediately surrounded by #BlackFlies… Now if no one is familiar with these annoying buggars, consider yourself lucky… These bastards make #mosquitos look like your favorite family pet… At least with mosquitos you can catch them… These black flies look like your common #HouseFly but larger and they are just as fast.. Then to top it off, they suck your blood by putting a tiny tongue between your pores on your skin and extracting the blood… Sounds painful doesn’t it? Well, it fucking is! Excuse my French… #TheTravelingMac does not retreat from such #creatures, I was determined to #explore and that was what I was going to do…

This leads me to explain the picture above… If you don’t have one of these, you need to get one… Everyone gets that occasional #fly or #insect in their house and some of them will take up your valuable time trying to catch and kill… not anymore #folks… These black flies have enjoyed enough free meals on slow reacting, unprotected human flesh.. Now technology has come to create a fair, even match… This #ElectricRacket is nothing short of awesome… All you do is hold your finger on a button and wave the device at the little fucker! Once you touch it, a current of electricity zaps the bastard and instantly paralyzes and kills them… I know it’s sadistic but I take pleasure in killing these annoying little shits… They have always had the upper hand out here but not anymore!

Now, they are still fast and hard to catch… I must have looked like a maniac, waving this racket above my head, swinging my arm around… But when you hear that electrical pop, you know you have won the battle, no matter how ridiculous you look… I don’t know where you get these #godsends because I have had mine for so long, but I am sure you can find one #online somewhere… A necessity if you are going #camping…

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So, I headed down the #road… There’s The Millennium Falcon’s huge ass hanging out of the woods… Baby got back… hell yeah!

I saw I had #neighbors about 100 yards down the road… I need to pull my #tent out soon… I admire these folks who rough it out in the #wild…

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I saw this #site way down the road and immediately fell in love with it! It was long enough for my #RV, so her ass didn’t have to hang out… lol… And it was very #level… Then to top it off, it had free #firewood… Some really nice #camper went to town on a #FallenTree with a #chainsaw and was nice enough to cut extra… When I was done with exploring, I was definitely grabbing this campsite… Perfect!

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So, with electric racket windmilling around my head, I finally stumbled upon some #forest information… It was a very primitive #trail and had a lot of warnings about #navigating it properly… By this point folks, my arms were tired constantly trying to battle the influx of annoying black flies… These bastards thrive off of #WetWeather and you will always find them near #water or moisture… Well, considering it has been raining like Noah built an Arc or something, the conditions were perfect for these menaces… They were everywhere and were making a nice little excursion into a constant aggravating battle… The #BugRepellant keeps them from biting you but doesn’t keep them from flying around your head and buzzing in your ears… So, I decided to head back and take advantage of that campsite I just discovered…

When I got back, my precious vehicle was covered in black flies… I was so aggravated by these nuances, I took a little time to zap a bunch of them until there were hardly any bothering my #BucketOfBolts… I felt like #HanSolo in #Empire Strikes Back… you know, when they get caught in a cave that turns out to be a giant worm… If you remember, #PrincessLeah and #Solo exit The Millennium Falcon to kill some sucking, flying creatrues that were attached to their #SpaceShip… #GeorgeLucas or #IrvinKershner obviously went on a #camping #trip like myself and had to deal with these black flies to write such a scene… I know I could write a good horror story about these blood sucking pests…

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After I got the #Falcon over to the other site, I waved my hand over the #FirePit and noticed it was still hot… Now folks, I am going to give you a crucial tip here…. Never, I say never, put your hand on the #ashes in the fire pit… Not because it will burn you but because people pee on their fires to put them out… Unless you want to touch someone elses’ urine, I would suggest waving your hand over the fire or digging at it with a stick…

So, I quickly grabbed some of the #firewood, some small #sticks and a little #BirchBark… I had this bitch blazing in no time… the generous campers were obviously here the night before because this #fire took no effort at all to start…

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Now it was time to get traditional and #cook #hamburgers on the #campfire… I chopped up some #onions and meshed half of them in with the #beef… I sprinkled a little paprika and cayenne for flavor and started #cooking… I also got out some of those #BakedBeans and put them in my little #CastIron pot… It took me forever to get that #pot out of the fire… I had to get a spatula and tongs because the lid was falling off and ashes were getting into the beans… Now, from what I just told you about the ashes earlier, I don’t want that crap in my beans… I know… I know… the fire burns everything off but I aint taking any chances… These are beans not pees…. hahaha!

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Look at that #burger… Perfect! I like mine medium rare so the meat wasn’t on the fire that long.. I would say 15 minutes at the most… I brought the burger inside and cut it in half… I took one of my #GlutenFree wraps out of the freezer… Don’t judge… and slapped some of those fresh chopped onions, mayonnaise, spinach and ketchup on top…

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I cut the wrap in half and wallah… What a meal… I love #Salt&VinegarChips… My sister and I have always loved them since we were kids… so that’s what I complemented this great meal with and of course I added a nice cold #GingerBeer to make the #dinner complete… #ReedsGingerBeer is quite good but not the best… It has too much sugar and not enough ginger… I like the back of my throat to burn when I drink a ginger beer… It’s such a great feeling…

The #plate I got from #TheChristmasTreeShop… First time I have used it and it’s perfect for camping, separating your food so it doesn’t become a runny mess…

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After finishing my #meal, I sat back and took a #toke and relaxed, #meditating by the fire… A radio station had the top five hits of the #70’s… They go back to the same numerical 70’s and #80’s year and play what was the top five on the charts at that date… It was on #100.1, I think…it was really interesting because they interviewed artists from back then…

They actually had an interview with #RickSpringfield… I was laughing my ass off because I can’t take that guy seriously… I texted some friends I felt would join me in my humor only to find if you type in Rick and Spr… #AutoSpell will automatically pull up Springfield… WTF! I couldn’t believe that Rick Springfield was so famous that even auto spell knows who he is… Hilarious!

Oh come on… I don’t think I’m better than him it’s just when one of your main hits is called “Don’t Talk to Strangers,” some people are going to find the humor in it all… Also, you had one of the worst haircuts in showbiz next to #RodStewart, who they played also… lol… But I still love your music! The 80’s wouldn’t be the 80’s without Rick Springfield… lol.

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This campsite was definitely the best I have ever stayed at… Too bad it’s not linked to some good #fishing or #hiking… but where it lacks in one department it makes up in the other… I don’t know if I am going to stay tomorrow though… The forecast is predicting more #rain and I am getting sick of the rain folks… I love it here and there but it’s getting out of control now…

I can slightly hear the #EastCoasters cursing my name… this rain is nothing compared to what they went through this #winter… Poor folks, they just can’t seem to get a good string of #weather out here and when they do, all this rain has multiplied the pests when it’s nice out, so you never really get to enjoy anything… That’s why I will never become a permanent resident out here again… Right now I am flirting with the idea of getting a #cabin out here in Vermont for the #Summer and #Fall, then #RVing to a warm climate in the #Winter and #Spring… It seems like a good, cost effective plan but #NoExpectations! I have plenty of more exploring to do, so my mind may change… especially when I visit #Colorado…

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So, tonight was not #ShowerNight but I have a new system that is much more comfortable for me… I decided to do #MilitaryShowers every other day… I just feel so grimy going to bed without some sort of a shower, especially being out here in the #woods… So what I do is I have my full shower night every other day and on the off days, I still hop in that shower but only rinse my hair, wash the pits and another area I would much rather not disclose… I tell you this because if you are #BoonDocking, #WaterConservation is a must but comfort is a must also… I sleep much better when I feel clean… I hardly use any water for the military shower and it does the job… So, that’s my new system…

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I like conserving… it’s almost #instinctual and is so gratifying knowing you are not wasting valuable #resources… I used to take 30 minute showers at home… I love showers and look forward to them everyday… I couldn’t believe how wasteful I was… I believe everyone should have to do a #trip like this just so they can learn how to conserve… When you are put in a position where it costs you money if you don’t, trust me, you will conserve… Unless you are one of those aloof #rich assholes who doesn’t give a crap about anything that has to do with anyone or anything else except themselves… I’m not saying all rich people but we all know the majority are shameless when it comes to such things… Remember, money doesn’t really exist, so when we run out of water their money is not going to get them that far in a crisis situation… Keep on watering those huge lawns for vanity dick heads…

Unfortunately when the crisis hits, it’s the poor and middle class that will suffer at the beginning because these close minded idiots, that accelerated this situation, will just buy their way out of it while we go on dying of thirst… A prime example of how our culture puts money before people… Fining these rich idiots is the same equivalence of giving a rich man a speeding ticket… It doesn’t do shit because paying it means nothing to them… Perhaps we need to find a different punishment like cutting off their water when they over use it… Let’s see how they and their precious lawns prevail then!

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Sorry for the #SoapBox folks but these type of things need to be stated… Other than plotting my revenge against the #afluent, I had a great time meditating by the #BurningSouls of the #forest in the southern part of #TheGreenMountains… It was a great night of #music and #nature… A cheers to all of you and goodnight…

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