Day Sixty Eight… Welcome to Willowdale… 08/03/15

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Well folks… It isn’t the prettiest #RVPark but it will do… I slept o.k. last night considering this perdiciment I was now in… I got up at 8am and went right over to the office where I met John and his wife… Such friendly, amazing people… They wanted to help so bad but there was a state fair happening in town and all the #mechanics were off today… I was disappointed and frustrated because it seems this shit happens to me all of the time but realized I just showed up out of nowhere and it wasn’t their fault… They promised to get me on the road tomorrow and have their son look at #TheMillenniumFalcon later on today…

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Well, needles to say, I was yearning for a good long walk in the sun… I had been sitting on my ass for 3 days and was starting to feel it… A good long brisk walk in this heat would soon set my head straight and I needed some good vitamin D anyways…

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John was soon out in the field raking hay with one of his monstrous vehicles… This man owns all of this land and farms it every year… He joked if I was stuck here he would put me to work… I quipped that I wasn’t afraid of any hard work and would take him up on that offer but for now I needed to take a walk and clear my head…

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I explored this #pond on his property which was loaded with #frogs… I tried to get close enough for a picture but these frogs were not having it… They would jump the moment they heard any sound from me… You can see some splashes behind those plants… That was a frog skipping across the water and they made this weird squeaking sound as they retreated…

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The farm is nothing short of amazing with old abandoned barns and immense structures towering over the business John has built… They work on all kinds of tractors and trucks, so their mechanics shop is fully equipped… They even have a mechanics pit so they can comfortably stand and work under the vehicles… These guys are no joke and I think I was fortunate to break down in their town…

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So, I headed out for a long brisk conversation with God, trying to understand why he/she keeps on battling me with these near impossible situations… I was angry but was starting to learn that the anger is useless… I have to treat these situations like the Grizwolds in #NationalLampoonsVacation… They seem to have come to terms with the fact everything they do is a disaster and Clark likes to ignore the inevitable and carry on with his own ignorant yet positive out look on life… I truly believe being ignorant in such situations is helpful because the reality will make you completely nuts!

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Here I am shirtless and looking like a Hick… I figured I would blend in with these beautiful, rough, friendly people… I had my coffee and a bottle of water… I was ready for a long vigorous walk… I had a lot of anger inside of me that I needed to let out and I had to question all of this crap the only way I knew how… and that’s going out in nature and battling with God himself…

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It’s not a conscious battle folks because anything conscious is too primitive for such a mighty force… It takes an actual encounter in God’s real church and that’s out in nature… I never understood why people built churches to worship this mighty being when his house could never be sheltered… Just taking a walk or a hike is like being in the house of this so-called God, whoever he/she is… I have learned that a walk out in the open will solve any of our frivolous problems… The answers are there, you just have to go out and get them…

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Well she soon answered me, making me realize this wasn’t that bad and at least I was out in the open, away from it all… If I am stuck here I have a job and there is no feeling of confinement… I don’t know how you could possibly feel confined in such an open, beautiful space…

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I enjoyed the calming sound of #crickets, #birds and all kinds of other bugs emitting the sounds of their daily routine… I soon felt all better and was thankful for such a tragedy, knowing I have learned yet another way of dealing with my problems without adopting that defeatist attitude… There are so many out there that are ravaged by war and tragedies… Look at the poor bastards out west who have lost their homes to raging fires! All because we are too ignorant to realize we do have an effect on this planet and we are more concerned with our short term economy instead of the planet we live on… We are so selfish and plain stupid!

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It was 95 degrees out so I was sweating like a bastard… Two #farmers pulled over to see if I needed a ride… they are so nice out here… They probably thought I was nuts walking in this heat but I explained my situation and they soon understood, I think…

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It’s nice to encounter such nice people and it reaffirms my notion that city people are selfish assholes… Well, most of them at least… I do know after being on this trip that I will never return to the city anytime soon… The trip to #NYC was the last straw for me but was needed because I now realize who my true friends are… It’s sad that I have to realize this hard truth because some of my #NewYork friends I really looked up to but realized they were just propped up on a pedalstool in my own head… You live and learn folks… I have no sore feelings, just the realization that everything isn’t as you remember it and want it to be…

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Life is a constant lesson and one of the biggest lessons I have learned is “it’s better to be alone, then be with people who make you feel alone…” I’m not being resentful here, I’m just realizing that I have to put my own well being above the ones who want to see me suffer for some reason… Why give them my heart and soul when there are plenty of good people out there that deserve it and want it…

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I have also found that most of my good friends who deserve my friendship are nowhere near perfect… They are going through a ton of shit just like me and have been pushed away by so-called friends because they didn’t want to deal with their drama… Well, I’m here for my friends who are going through shit and will always be here for them… I know we are not perfect but when tragedy hits you can’t deny the ones who go out of their way to be there for you regardless… And I enjoy being there for them and want to be there for them no matter what it costs in my life… I am not perfect as well and will falter myself at times but when it comes to push and shove, I hope I enrich the lives of the ones who have selflessly enriched mine…

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I am again at another set of crossroads and will come out of this smarter, stronger and with the tools to deal with such tragedies when they happen again… And they will happen again, trust me…

I walked for 3 and a 1/2 hours and felt amazing when I returned to John’s farm… John was still out here working on his field… His son soon got done with the #TownFair and looked at #TheMillenniumFalcon… He assured me she was an easy fix, stating the starter seems to be the problem… He told me to get some good sleep tonight and he would try his hardest to get me back on the road tomorrow…

I love these people down here! They are honest yet rough around the edges… They are truly concerned about your piece of mind and try their hardest to calm any tension they can perceive… Very #soulful people out here who are very in touch with what life is all about… I am so glad I broke down in #Willowdale,Kansas…

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